All that she didn't say
by GDeacur
Summary: There's a time to keep quiet and a time to speak. This was a lesson Starfire learned... the hard way. Slightly AU, centers on Starfire and Blackfire.
1. Clay frisbee

**Clay frisbee**

"Robin, well done!" exclaimed Starfire.

One might have thought it unusual to hear this from a girl who had just had a clay plate smash against her forehead. But this was no ordinary girl with no ordinary forehead, and to match, the activity in which she and Robin were engaged was no ordinary game.

Robin smiled confidently. He was having a blast and benefiting from a great workout. At the same time, he thought to himself: _This would look ridiculous to anyone else…._

Indeed, it was ridiculous: Starfire was bored of shooting clay plates, and Robin was bored of hurling his boomerangs at targets. This naturally evolved into their latest pastime – clay frisbee. Robin and Starfire would stand about ten meters apart near the edge of the Titan's island on some flat, packed down dirt. Robin's goal was to hit Starfire with a clay plate; Starfire's was to stand still and shatter said plate mid flight using a lone starbolt.

Throwing was something that came naturally to Robin. From a young age he'd been taught the art of hurling boomerangs accurately and powerfully. But even after putting incredible curves and spins on the plates, which, to his credit, he was not used to throwing, he couldn't connect after numerous tries. Starfire's aim had become frighteningly accurate in recent times.

Robin requested the use of two plates against a corresponding number of bolts. Starfire agreed, and after seven or eight tries, Robin finally hit his mark.

"Uh… thanks," responded Robin with what was _almost_ a dry chuckle. He casually strutted up to Starfire and looked down at the scattered bits of clay at her feet, marvelling. "Thing never stood a chance…."

"You are damned if you do, and you are damned if you do not!" said Starfire, in her trademarked broken english.

"That would be fair assessment," agreed Robin. "Well said, Star."

Starfire seemed lost in thought for a moment.

…

Moments….

…

"Starfire?" queried Robin. "Are you…"

Starfire looked up and smiled. Robin could tell that it was one of her "I'm okay. _Really…"_ grins that concealed anything from mild distraction to severe unhappiness.

_Good thing she doesn't make a living off that poker face,_ thought Robin.

They stared at each other for another moment amidst the hot midsummer breeze before Robin bent over, scraped away the clay bits from a patch of dirt, sat down and crossed his legs. They initiated eye contact for a few seconds before Starfire plopped down in front of him, crushing some clay under her rear to a fine grey powder. The two sat together, seemingly taking in the surroundings. There were barely a few puffs of white in the blue sky, and the lake was particularly peaceful today. None of the Titans had been doing much lately – crime seemed to be snoozing in the sweltering heat of summer.

"If it makes you feel better, please do." This Robin said with only the utmost sincerity to his best friend, whose company he seemed to enjoy more with the passing of time.

Starfire inhaled and exhaled deeply before speaking. "You reminded me of someone who used to be a good friend, that is all. And worse… some old regrets."

Robin pondered for a moment. "I'm sorry if I said anything to…"

"No," interrupted Starfire with a raised voice. "Do not be sorry. Please, Robin, do _not_ be sorry."

Robin wore a solemn look, not knowing what to say.

Starfire closed her eyes and searched through her memories. She found herself on her home planet of Tamaran at fourteen years of age, only a few months before she came to earth. She could smell the rich, hard odour of her royal Tamaranian cuisine. She felt the harsh sands of Tamaran blowing across the desert, scathing her skin. She saw hundreds of orange skinned people – _her_ people.

At last she reached the most sensitive, private memories - those of her sister, Blackfire.

"Before I came to earth, Robin..."

With those words she began to recount her most bittersweet memories of, as Robin later told himself, all that she didn't say.


	2. But

**But…**

She marvelled every time her eyes passed through.

The main hall's walls, where thousands of Tamaranians could stand at once, were ten stories high and a golden color with speckles of red. Larger blots of red slowly gave way to smaller ones with increasing height, and the golden hue became deeper and stronger with elevation. There were no edges between the wall and the roof – the chamber was anything but square. Instead, it was comparable to one half of an egg. Increasingly discernable streaks of silver emerged from the gold and began to swirl as the rising walls met each other at the top of the dome. At last, they coincided neatly at the highest point in the hall.

Starfire loved it. Anytime she was within these walls, she emitted such a… flightless, free spirit. She would sometimes stare up and spin around with her arms extended, as though she were being sucked up into some invisible whirlpool of gold and silver, blending together in a beautiful blur. Whichever guard was stationed to monitor the main hall invariably smiled at the sight, and Starfire invariably returned a shy smile of her own. She managed to forget the presence of others at times.

A hulking, twelve foot tall Tamaranian wearing a thick purple body suit came marching through a comparably large opening in the wall of the chamber. There were few doors used in Tamaranian architecture – they preferred to have one room flow seamlessly into the next.

"My ruddy little Bungorf!" exclaimed Galfore.

"K'norfka!" replied Starfire with enthusiasm. They closed the short distance between each other quickly and embraced as would a father and daughter. In reality, the chosen K'norfka was a father figure to the royal children. Kingly and queenly duties kept Starfire's parents extremely busy. They still tried to make time for their children, but they would sometimes go days without seeing each other.

"Your sister is waiting for you, Bungorf. She said you two were scheduled to play today."

A look of surprise came over Starfire's face. "AH! I forgot! I must make haste…."

Galfore caught her by the shoulder as she turned to run down towards the courts. He turned his head back towards the guard currently stationed in the hall and motioned for him to leave. The guard bowed his head and promptly complied.

"What is it?" asked Starfire, sensing a more serious conversation to come.

Galfore crouched down to her level and put on an almost goofy smile. He then patted Starfire's head as he spoke. "I love you both. Let no one, including yourself, tell you otherwise."

Starfire looked down towards her purple boots, as she often did when feelings of inferiority came over her.

"But," she muttered, "do you not have a favourite?"

"No."

"But, do you not love one a little more?"

Galfore exhaled deeply, almost as though sighing, but without the frustration.

"My love for either of you is not measured in quantity, Bungorf. I love you both for who you are. There is no comparison – there cannot be a comparison, for that would be like pitting the majestic mountains against the vast oceans. No such thing is possible."

Starfire kept looking at her feet longingly, though obviously feeling little relieved. She finally hoisted her head and gave Galfore the smile. _That_ smile. The one that concealed anything from mild distraction to severe unhappiness.

"Go on," said Galfore. "I will be happy with your utmost, and so should you."

Starfire made a sound of acknowledgement that sounded like a giggle and a snort rolled into one and bounded off towards the courts.

Galfore straightened up as she left the chamber, wondering how many times he would have to repeat that conversation with Starfire.

_Probably many,_ he thought to himself. _But a K'norfka's work is joyous. And you are but fifteen years old. You will come out of your shell yet._

Still, he marvelled that Blackfire, only elder by one year, could be so much… farther along in some ways.


	3. My fabulous big sister

**My fabulous big sister**

Patiently, she stood tall with her arms folded in front of her. Unlike most Tamaranians who wore purple garb of some sort, this one wore what seemed to be white bandaging around her arms, stomach and thighs – the places that many Tamaranian exposed their orange flesh. Her top and skirt were also unusually coloured; black. This matched her mane – she had long black hair that came down past her shoulder blades, much like Starfire's. Or, as _everyone else_ would have said, "Starfire's long red hair came down past her shoulder blades, much like Blackfire's."

This was Blackfire, the heir to the throne. And she was being held up by her tardy little sister.

That the game hadn't quite begun on schedule didn't seem to matter – all the observers, mostly Tamaranian officials, extended family, and a few guards who managed to sneak in, seemed happy and enthusiastic for the coming performance. In fact, they seemed content to just watch Blackfire stand for a few minutes.

Yes, she was certainly the charismatic one. The popular one. The fabulous one. The captivating one. Mostly all males seemed to gawk at her, even though treating royalty with anything that could be interpreted as disrespect incurred severe discipline. Humorously, some theorized that that was the reason she wore more covering attire than usual – but this was just idle talk. She loved all and was loved by all, and though one might have thought otherwise, those feelings included her little sister more than anyone.

"I'm here!" screamed Starfire as she flew into the opposite end of the arena.

The arena was a fully enclosed cubicle about fifty yards by fifty yards, with two small "nets" at opposing ends about four by two yards. The cubicle was made of a fully transparent material that was fairly heat resistant. This was a necessity, for starbolts would be striking the walls constantly. There were two small holes in the ground near the beginning where the head-sized spheres of an inflated leather-like material would be randomly expelled into the playing field. The balls were set to deflate as soon as they touched the netting so that they would not block up the net. One more hole was near the far edge of the arena, and this was used to establish total vacuum within the playing field.

The game was simple: neither player could touch each other or the balls. Starbolts and only starbolts were to be used to strike the balls. The goal of the game was to land balls in the opposing member's "net" to score points. One point was given for each time a player scored, and one point was lost if a player touched or was touched by a ball. The game usually lasted ten minutes, although many games were played with longer or shorter times. Of course, one could not strike the opponent with a starbolt.

As a side note, players were encouraged to use low heat starbolts, as hotter ones could damage the transparent walls. Really, few things could stand up to fully heated starbolts. The game was considered an elite sport, as few Tamaranians could withstand the outer space conditions and fewer still could use starbolts. Those gifted with such abilities were usually done so by hereditary factors, although, like most things, there was an element of chance involved. Sometimes a baby would be born with unusually high strength that was unprecedented in the family line. Other times, a strong family would yield a relatively weak child.

Starfire took a moment to look at the hundreds of spectators before she snapped back to the present. Her usual goofy smile of anticipation came over her face when she played this game. Truthfully, she enjoyed it very much.

"Ready!" exclaimed Starfire. Her hands lit up with green energy as she floated a few feet off the ground. The crowd cheered, and some could be heard chanting her name in Tamaranian.

**"Koriand'r! Koriand'r!"**

Blackfire stared at her sister with a competitive smile for a moment before floating into the air herself.

"Ready!" she whispered, as her hands glowed with a deep purple aura.

Everyone in the crowd seemed to go wild, from the young male guards who probably weren't technically allowed to be spectators to the older women of noble birth.

**"Komand'r! Komand'r! Komand'r!"**

A loud siren went off. All the air was immediately sucked out of the cubicle, and a single inflated ball was launched into the arena. It had begun.

Starfire hurled a (low heat but high speed) starbolt at the ball. It bounced silently towards Blackfire's end of the court. Blackfire seemed unconcerned and simply let it speed by her. A few in the crowd stood up in anticipation… only to be surprised as the ball narrowly missed Blackfire's net. It bounced off the adjacent wall and headed towards Starfire's end of the field. Suddenly, Blackfire launched a precisely timed starbolt into the ball, doubling its velocity and redirecting it slightly towards Starfire's net. Caught by surprise, Starfire launched an off target starbolt that didn't connect. The ball sailed by and right into her net.

The crowd cheered. A judge recorded the score by throwing a small pebble into a bowl marked "Blackfire". Starfire slapped her forehead with her palm while Blackfire seemed impatient for the next ball to be ejected.

The game wore on, sometimes with two or even three balls at once in the playing field. Starfire was actually quite good, but Blackfire was simply better – and cunning. She would deflect balls towards Starfire and force her to move lest she lose a point. This kept breaking Starfire's concentration, causing her to miss shots and make errors out of frustration.

After fifteen minutes of time, the game ended.

Blackfire: 28.

Starfire: 12.

Victory: uncontested.

---

Starfire hunched over her balcony's railing, staring off into the vast desert that surrounded the palace and covered seventy percent of Tamaran's surface. It was evening – the sky was a dark, deep blue, and slowly shifting to black. One of Tamaran's two moons was already visible, soon to be joined by hosts of stars.

"Hey! What's up sis?"

"EEP!" screamed a startled Starfire, as she turned around to see her sister gliding down to the balcony floor. "How did you…"

"Patience. Fly slowly and you can fly silently. What _have_ you been doing all day?"

Starfire looked away and seemed to be trailing off, apparently inventing something. Blackfire stared her in the face and raised an eyebrow.

"Your lying skills are nonexistent, sis. Don't even bother trying."

Starfire scratched the back of her neck. "I was not lying. I was… thinking of a nice way to put it."

"Oh, _wait_ a minute, I know what you've been up to!" accused Blackfire playfully. "I saw Galfore grumbling and mumbling the words 'dignity' and 'royalty' and 'Starfire' earlier. That probably means you were helping the servants unload the palace supplies from the caravan, doesn't it?"

"Mmmm… yes," said Starfire with a resigned tone.

Blackfire just smiled at the thought before speaking her mind. "He's just doing what he thinks your parents would. Not to mention, what tradition and our status _demand_."

"Oh, but sister, you do not think that it is wrong for me to…"

"Hey, it's all good with me," interjected Blackfire. "Although the pet rat you kept from one of the caravans is pushing it."

The two stood in silence for a moment. Blackfire thought of how… different her sister could be. At the same time, she thought of how truly special she was and how much she admired her little sister's honesty and humility. Starfire stared blankly at the pale white tiles on the floor and smiled, indicating anything from mild distraction to severe unhappiness.

"Don't worry sis, the old guy may be a little concerned when he sees you do 'inappropriate' things like that, but he's probably relieved at the same time. Pride has brought down a lot of kingdoms and rulers."

Starfire seemed to consider what Blackfire had said before arching her back over the balcony and looking off into the distance. Her hair fell down (up?) as she looked out across the desert.

"C'mon, there's a place I want to take you tonight."

Starfire perked up as her eyes widened. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," replied Blackfire. "Can I, uh, borrow one of you purple outfits? I can't exactly go around like this and keep a low profile."

"Of course, sister," replied Starfire reluctantly. "But where…"

"See you in half an hour sis," interjected Blackfire, as she flew away towards her balcony on the other side of the palace.

Starfire stared perplexedly at the night sky for a few moments before stepping into her room.


	4. Drifting off

Thanks to my readers/reviewers. This is looking to be seven or eight chapters total. If this feels like it's going nowhere... well... don't worry. The end is in view.

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* * *

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**Drifting off**

Freedom.

That was Starfire's experience as she flew through the vast open deserts in the twilight, feeling the freezing breeze rush over her skin and filter through her hair. Nothing artificial or manufactured existed here to distract the senses from the organic, genuine feeling of the open sand dunes. And yet, with the stars shining down overhead and the incessant frigid wind lashing against her face, she got a sensation that could only be described as… surreal. She almost felt that she was dreaming, and that she never again wanted to be shackled by the conscious world.

As if to threaten the feeling, a small city came into view on the horizon. Starfire dreamily flew behind her sister. The high walls came closer and closer until they were suddenly underneath. Thousands upon thousands of structures became visible. Houses, buildings, communes… in one swift instant they materialized.

Blackfire spent no time to gazing – she flew straight down to the road just inside the city wall. Starfire followed, the dreamy look finally disappearing from her face.

"Did all the blood get forced to your legs or something?" asked Blackfire. She gave her sister an inquisitive look before remembering how quickly Starfire's mind could slip away to another dimension. _Actually,_ thought Blackfire, _maybe she doesn't trail off at all. Maybe she just gets really caught up in what's there. Even if it's ten thousand tonnes of… sand._

"Where is this place we are heading to, sister?"

"It's just a few minutes that way," said Blackfire, lazily pointing over her head in the general vicinity. She caught the sight of her own shoulder and seemed to muse. "I forgot what it feels like to be so open to the elements. I'm not used to feeling each grain of sand bounce off my skin as I fly."

"You will quickly adapt. And how is your hair? Was the dye satisfactory?"

"Huh? Oh," replied Blackfire, almost forgetting her recently acquired red hair. She pulled some over her shoulder and glanced back and forth a few times at her own hair and her sister's. "Well, I'm obviously on the darker side of red, but I'll blend in well enough. It's worked before."

Black hair, like the abilities of flight, resilience, and starbolts, was a rarity among Tamaranians. The vast majority possessed hair in various shades of red.

Blackfire led the way down the streets towards their destination. The streets were usually only wide enough to accommodate four or five individuals at once. Residences and small businesses were mixed freely in this quarter, and a good number of poorer people sat on the sides of the road. A particularly old woman sitting alone at the end of a short alleyway caught Starfire's attention. The woman was definitely on the edge of her mortality. She was draped in a few thin sheets and was sitting between a couple of large rocks that almost formed a low alcove.

Starfire turned from behind her sister and walked right up to the old woman, stooping over at her feet.

"Are you cold?" asked Starfire.

The old woman gave no reply and only stared back with a blank expression. Starfire eyed the rocks around the old woman, and noticed a thin layer of sand that had formed on the blankets near her legs.

Starfire quickly thrust both her hands onto a large rock a few feet high that was right beside the destitute woman.

"Star," interrupted Blackfire, "what are you…"

Already, the green energy surged from her hands. The old woman turned her head slightly in surprise. Starfire slowly moved her hands around the rock to heat it evenly. Her eyes stayed closed as she felt around the surface, ensuring that the temperature wouldn't be too great for the woman whose bodily functions were too meagre to regulate themselves. An observing Blackfire kept silent the entire time.

"There," said Starfire as she opened her eyes. "You should be warmer for a few hours."

The old woman mumbled something unintelligible. Starfire sighed before she stood up, turned around and met her sister at the head of the alley. Blackfire resumed leading Starfire towards her goal.

"She might burn herself," objected Blackfire.

"She has not moved in some time. The sands of many days have piled up on her."

"Oh…" mumbled Blackfire, surprised at her sister's observation. They pressed on with Blackfire in the lead. The buildings on either side became increasingly derelict, causing Starfire mild concern as to where she was headed. Soon enough, Starfire began to feel a thumping vibe in her head. It was as though someone was slamming the ground with a great mallet.

The pounding epicentre soon became visible. It was a large hall, probably once a community center of some sort. There were no windows, and the exterior looked run down – much like everything else in the vicinity. A lone male Tamaranian of eighteen years of age stood beside the only entrance. He perked up at the sight of Blackfire and her sister approaching.

"Ono'tari!" he exclaimed. "The hardest dancer and strongest arm wrestler I've seen. Where have you been?"

"I live up to my namesake," replied Blackfire with confidence.

Starfire reflected momentarily on the meaning of her sister's alias. _Twilight._ The Tamaranian male casually strutted up to the two sisters, obviously happy to see "Twilight".

"Ah, and who is this?" he asked, looking acceptingly at Starfire.

"This is my sister… Kara'kuu. Kara'kuu, Xu'ffash. Xu'ffash, Kara'kuu."

"Ah," said Xu'ffash as he held out his hand. "Nightstar. Nice name. Your sister told me a little about you."

The situation had obviously caught Starfire surprised. She briskly held out her hand and gave Xu'ffash a much harder shake than he was expecting. Blackfire smiled and rolled her eyes while Xu'ffash tried to act unaffected.

"You've got your sister's strength," he remarked.

"That is what many have told me," said Starfire, her voice sounding distant.

Xu'ffash glanced back and forth between the two for a few moments. Though he had only known Starfire for less than a minute and Blackfire for less than a week, he was already casting their roles. _Ono'tari, the one of fame. Kara'kuu, the one with the inferiority complex._

"I'll see you two inside."

"Be just a minute," replied Blackfire as he stepped through the doors. As he did, a beam of blue light shot through the open door, illuminating the two girls. Blackfire turned to face her sister. The intrigue and excitement were radiating off her face.

"Okay _Nightstar_, keep it down in there," said Blackfire with a semi-motherly tone. "No starbolts. No flying. No demonstrations of unusual strength, though it's a bit late for that. Keep a low profile. I don't want anyone guessing that we're anything more than a few regular Tamaranian youth."

Starfire nodded excitedly.

"Well then. Let's party." Blackfire pushed the hall door open for her sister.

As soon as she stepped in, Starfire was drenched with a blast of vibrant, energetic, deafening music that made her want to scream with joy. Bright lights of all colors came beaming from every corner and reflected off mirrored parts of the ceiling. People were dancing and moving to the music everywhere, and a strange mist seemed to lightly cover some parts of the room. Starfire clasped her hands together with her eyes as open as possible, grinning with anticipation.

"Yeah," joked Blackfire, "keep those eyes open. If you drifted off in the barren desert, you'll fall fast asleep in here…."


	5. What began a dream

Thanks for sticking it out this long. After this, there are two more chapters, one a short wrap-up. If you've read this far, may as well as finish it! I'm reasonably satisfied with the artistic merit of my work, but frankly, I sometimes wish I could write things that are more entertaining. Fun to read, and the like. Aie, whatever. A disgruntled writer is me.

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**What began a dream…**

Starfire traipsed lazily down the long flight of stairs that went to the basement of the complex. Her mind was reeling with one thought – fun! At the same time, she had been up for about sixteen hours now, and was beginning to get tired. But she had no desire to leave. Instead, she wanted to throw herself on a seat and just soak things in.

Reaching the basement, Starfire looked around for her sister. There were semicircle benches with tables in the center all about the sides of the room. In the center there was a large, chest height rectangular counter for the bar. There was light, but it was a strange shade of dark blue making it difficult to discern one person from the next.

Starfire's eyes caught the sight of her sister at the far end of the room. Blackfire was sitting lazily on a bench in the corner, with Xu'ffash beside her. There were six others around the duo, almost instinctively keeping their distance from them. There was much laughing and subdued talk going on, and they all seemed to be having a good time. Starfire made her way past the tables and peoples, who seemed indifferent to her presence, and towards her sister.

"Oh hey," yelled Blackfire as she noticed her sister. "Come over," she said, patting the empty space on the bench beside her. Starfire walked up to the group, stopping at the end of the bench. The three Tamaranians between her and the empty spot next to Blackfire filed out of the way, seemingly out of duty, and Starfire sat down beside her sister.

"This is my sister, Nightstar," announced Blackfire to the group.

That seemed to trigger a reaction. The rest of the group perked up and introduced themselves, seemingly more accepting of her presence then they initially appeared to be.

"Yeah, so I ran like the wind to get away from those guys who were chasing me," said one of the rougher looking male youth. A few of the others exchanged comments on weather or not he should have stayed to fight.

_These youths are most unusual,_ thought Starfire. Her mind drifted away from the conversation and towards other things. The music, particularly the bass, was still audible, but thick insulation made it possible for modest conversation in the basement. She tiredly sunk into her seat, at last slowing down and trying to evaluate her surroundings.

There was a wide range of ages to be seen, though Starfire was definitely at the bottom of the spectrum. Tamaranian men and woman anywhere from ages fifteen to thirty were sulking around in the basement. Some were talking, some were laughing, some were drinking, some were arguing, and some were doing absolutely nothing. The crowd was generally a little gruff looking – not the people Starfire was used to seeing around the palace.

"No, seriously, I didn't stand a chance. Better I run than to be caught by those guys again. Once you've been in that stink hole once, you never want to go back." The Tamaranian pointed towards a small scar on his deltoid, the outside of his shoulder.

Starfire stared blankly. _He has the criminal branding!_ Starfire had noticed the same mark on quite a few of the other people about, but having only been explained its meaning once or twice before, and having no criminals as friends, she thought nothing of it.

Starfire's intent stare changed into a look of mild panic. A few of the others at the table noticed her discomfort, Blackfire included. One of the youth was on the verge of questioning her when Blackfire interrupted.

"Alright," screamed Blackfire as she rose from her seat. "Would anyone like to challenge my arm tonight?"

A few people screamed and hollered from the tables around, seemingly anticipating the coming challenge. Most eyes in the large basement shifted towards the reigning queen; some looked about for the one who would rise to the challenge.

Starfire felt relieved that the burden of attention was transferred from herself to her sister. The room became remarkably quiet all of a sudden, as no one was yet willing to accept the challenge. The thumping from upstairs seemed to become more pronounced. A few whispers caught Starfire's ears.

"Vit'essque… Vit'essque hela forte".

As soon as Starfire began to wonder what this unknown word meant, someone rose on the far side of the basement. He was large – almost as large as Galfore, and looked even more intimidating. He had a thick, scruffy beard, an intense gaze, and wore nothing but a loose pair of purple pants.

"I accept."

Xu'ffash visibly gulped. "Uh, Ono'tari… I don't know if you can take this guy…."

Blackfire looked down, about to protest, but instead looked at Starfire. She appeared _extremely_ nervous about all of this. Blackfire leaned over and whispered in her sister's ear.

"Chill, sis. We'll just have some fun together. He looks like he could use it."

She immediately vaulted over the table and walked towards the center of the room. The other sixty or seventy Tamaranians began to murmur as her opponent also made his way towards the center of the room. A small table was set up for the specific intent of arm wrestling. The two stood face to face, neither sitting down yet. A few people from the fringes of the basement stood up and moved closer in to get a better view of the sure-to-be-memorable action. The rest of Starfire's table took seats closer to the action as well. Starfire herself stood dazed for a moment, but promptly moved up. She didn't want to take her eyes off her sister for a moment in this place that was beginning to frighten her.

Soon enough, everyone was crowded around. Anticipation was high.

Blackfire kicked things off by sitting down and holding her right arm out in initiating position. She lazily propped her head up with her left arm and smiled stupidly.

"Anytime," she said, sounding bored.

The crowd seemed to like this, as a few people exhaled grunted.

"Tell me, _little girl,_" spat the stern and unkempt challenger, "what will you give me if I win?"

There was complete silence in anticipation of "Twilight's" answer.

"Uhhhhmm… a BIG hug!" replied Blackfire, with gestures to match.

A few people started laughing at the sight of a sixteen year old girl playing with a twenty some odd year old man who looked like he could shatter stone with one finger. At the same time, others laughed because they had seen her in action before, and knew that the challenger was about to be surprised.

"You look like you could use some love if you're trying to benefit off an arm wrestle."

The challenger eyed her carefully before sitting down and extending his own arm. The two slowly locked fingers around each other, palm against palm.

"Someone, arbitrate!" ordered the challenger. Xu'ffash promptly, and nervously, began to count down from five. Four. Three. Two. One.

_HUUUurrrghghh…._ The challenger grunted fiercely as he put most of his strength into pressuring Blackfire's arm down. Blackfire looked intently at their warring hands, seemingly infusing her arm with strength. It seemed to be working – she was slowly forcing his arm down.

The noise began to increase. A few people were calling to the competitors, trying to egg them on.

Blackfire pushed on, steadily pressing the challenger's arm to the table. She was almost there when, for seemingly no reason, she looked off over the challenger's shoulder to see her sister's concerned, scared face.

_Well,_ mused a doubting Blackfire, _I did say that we should keep a low profile, and she's probably worrying that I'll get sucker punched if I beat this oaf. Maybe I should just let this guy win. Barely._

Blackfire's lead gradually faded as the challenger pushed with all his might. Suddenly, they were back up to starting position, with momentum in favour of the challenger.

The noise seemed to double at this development. People now began chanting the challenger's name.

The look on the challenger's face went from concerned to aggressive, even violent, as he now held Blackfire's arm at about twenty degrees from the table. He was, in fact, quite strong, and he seemed to feed of the crowd's clamour and his own success. He smirked as he whispered something at Blackfire across the table, barely audible.

"…"

As soon as the insult left his mouth, the noise abruptly stopped. All the observers redirected their gaze from the hands to Blackfire's face, wondering how she would react to being called a prostitute's pet.

_A prostitute's pet._

Blackfire's appearance went from counterfeit strain to mild anger.

"Is that what I am?" she said, flatly.

The challenger's momentum came to a complete halt. His expression changed from exertion to… pain. Blackfire smirked viciously as she slowly began crushing his hand with her superior strength. The challenger started to gasp for breath, but Blackfire was undeterred.

That was, until she caught her sister's glance. Starfire looked like she was ready to both cry and faint. By this time, a few others were taking notice of Starfire's discomfort. She was out of place like a fish in the clouds.

Blackfire decided to end things. She immediately turned his arm all the way back against the table with a resounding _thud_. The challenger, despite the tortured look of agony on his face, managed to show a hint of shock none the less.

"Well, I guess we animals just don't know our own strength, do we?"

She casually stood up from the table, smiled warmly, and proclaimed, "same time, same place, tomorrow night! See you then."

Blackfire shoved through the dispersing crowd towards her sister and grabbed her by the hand. She yanked her sister towards and into the stairwell that led back up to the main floor, in an attempt to gain some privacy.

"Hey, what's wrong?" asked Blackfire. Her face was genuinely warm in Starfire's eyes, all the more so amidst the grimy rock walls and dilapidated stairs. The whispering and talking from the basement hummed from below; the pounding, harmonious beats echoed from above.

"I…" muttered Starfire. "I do not like it here."

"Why?" asked Blackfire.

Starfire stared back in silence, unable to speak. She felt as though some invisible force was clamping her mouth shut.

"It's okay," said Blackfire, "we can leave if you want." Her little sister nodded acceptingly. "Go wait just outside the doors. I'll be there in two minutes after I say bye to Xu'ffash."

"Okay," accepted Starfire. She plodded up the stairs towards the main floor, obviously glad to be leaving.

Blackfire leapt back down the stairs and into the basement. She held the gaze of all as she walked towards the bench where she was originally sitting. Most were staring in awe while some, namely, the challenger and his few friends, were glaring with seething hate.

"Hey, I've got to leave early tonight." Xu'ffash looked up from the chair he was sitting in.

"Your sister?"

"Yeah. See you tomorrow, I guess."

Blackfire started to turn away, but Xu'ffash spoke up with an unusually confused tone.

"Your sister. I mean… your sister. How is she? I mean, you two don't even look alike…." Though he trailed off and used broken language, Xu'ffash had communicated his point very well. Blackfire seemed to reflect for a moment before answering.

"She is humble, shy, honest and generous. She builds other people up with her speech and shows concern for all fellow beings. I've no doubt that she'll see a different side of life than me, but that's fine. I know she'll be happy, and that she'll make her lucky husband very happy as well."

Xu'ffash seemed to be absorbing the answer, not getting the response he expected.

"Anyways, I'm out. See you tomorrow night."

"Yeah," said Xu'ffash. "See you."


	6. ended a nightmare

… **ended a nightmare**

The sun's rays beamed over the sandy horizon, signifying the beginning of another day. Castle slaves had long since been awake, making the usual preparations. But today, they awoke even earlier than usual; the entire royal family would be dining together. Starfire was sleeping soundly in her bed, far past the hour she was expected to get up for such an occasion.

_BANG BANG BANG_

"Hhhhmmmm?" moaned Starfire, not entirely waking up. Blackfire sighed from behind the door before slowly opening it and stepping in. She stood silent for a moment as she looked around her little sister's room.

_Oy vey,_ thought Blackfire. _I wonder if she's gonna redecorate soon._ Countless shades of pink and purple assaulted the eyes. The comforter on her bed, the carpet, the drapes, the walls… they were almost entirely pink or purple.

Starfire's bed was in the middle of the rectangular room opposite the door. On either side there were large glass windows. To the right there was the bathroom and a huge walk in closet that housed all the ceremonial garbs and outfits necessary for a Tamaranian princess. To the left was the balcony. Lots of stuffed animals were littered around the room, as was anything else that she deemed "cute".

_Well, pink walls and stuffed animals never hurt anyone, I suppose._

Blackfire strutted up to her sister and sat on the side of her bed. Despite the disturbance, Starfire slept lightly. Blackfire never ceased to be amazed at her sister's habits.

"Starfire…" came the whisper.

No response.

"Starfire…" she whispered again, gently ruffling her little sister's hair.

Starfire slowly opened her eyes, causing the view of her sister's almost motherly face to come into focus.

"Ghood mhorning," replied Starfire with a broad smile.

"We have breakfast with mom and dad in ten minutes," said Blackfire, "and you stink like a baking carcass."

"EEP!" screamed Starfire as she jolted up and out of bed, heading for the shower.

"Nah, just kidding. We have twenty minutes."

Starfire paused and looked back at her sister with an unusually sardonic look.

"Well," defended Blackfire with a raise of the shoulders and a tilt of the head, "it got you moving, didn't it? Now get ready, fast."

"Thank you sisterrrr…" said Starfire as she jumped into the bathroom. Blackfire rolled her eyes a little and smiled as she got up to leave for the royal dinner room.

---

Much of the day had passed without event. Evening rolled around, followed by night.

Starfire was lying stretched out on her bed, eyes closed, and thinking about many troublesome things.

_KNOCK KNOCK_

"Yes?" asked Starfire.

"Me," said Blackfire.

"Do come in."

"Hey," said Blackfire as she casually stepped in, "I'm heading out. Wanna come? Things might go a little better this time."

Starfire gulped visibly. "I would… rather spend the night here."

"Okay, suit yourself," replied Blackfire nonchalantly. "Can I borrow one of your outfits again? My older ones that I wore the first couple times I went are… uncomfortable."

Starfire turned her eyes away from her sister and made a peculiar mumbling sound. After a few seconds, she muttered an affirmation.

"Hey, thanks, sis!" exclaimed Blackfire as she walked over to Starfire's closet and seized a neatly folded uniform. She slung the clothing over her shoulder and started to make her way out.

"Hey, thanks again Starfire."

Starfire contorted uncomfortably on her bed as she sat up in a plainly unusual position. Blackfire paused just before exiting, noticing her sister's evident discomfort. She promptly flopped over on her sister's bed, trying to look her in the eye.

"What's wrong?" asked Blackfire with a perplexed look.

Starfire stared blankly out one of the windows in her room, obviously conflicted within herself. "Uh, nothing," she lied.

"You _know_ that I know you're lying." Blackfire's voice was cool and serious.

Starfire kept staring out the window. She felt like an invisible force was clamping her jaw shut. Finally, she faced her sister and smiled the smile. _The_ smile; even more fake than usual.

"Erm… have… fun?" mumbled Starfire.

Blackfire would have laughed if her sister's mood wasn't so viciously stark. She exhaled deeply before standing up and heading towards her sister's door. _I hate to leave her like this, but she's not talking anyways._ Blackfire pondered her sister's situation, thinking desperately of how it could be remedied.

"Listen sis, Galfore needs a workout partner. He's in the south tower's training room. Why don't you go help him out?"

Starfire considered the idea for a moment. "Okay…" she submitted.

_Whew,_ thought Blackfire, _I think she means it._

"Okay, see you tomorrow sis."

"Good bye, sister."

---

Galfore huffed furiously as he completed his last few repetitions. Stretched out on his back over a low bench, he grasped an extremely heavy set of stones in each hand. Keeping his arms straight, he was to bring them from as far apart as they could be; even with the rest of his body, to as close as they could be; directly above his head.

The weights hit the ground with a heavy thud. Galfore had had enough for one night, and he was getting sick of the unpleasant stench and abundant dust in the massive training room. Large enough to allow seventy men to train at once on a variety of machines, the hall made sure that the palace guards remained at the pinnacle of fitness.

"Hello K'norfka!" intruded Starfire.

"Hello Bungorf," replied Galfore. He knew she was coming for a while now. Even though she tried time and again to sneak up on him, she couldn't seem to do it. Galfore turned around to see his red haired girl seated on the head of the bench.

"What brings you here, little one? The sight of me training is hardly rare; even less so the smell of me sweating."

"Oh…" mumbled Starfire.

Galfore could tell that she wouldn't speak her mind until _after_ they'd chewed through some small talk, so he asked the one he loved as a daughter how her own training was doing. Starfire replied that the physical trainer in charge of the two princesses was very pleased with her performance. The trainer suggested she work on launching her starbolts more accurately, as opposed to flinging them wildly in great quantity. But the trainer never failed to notice that the power and heat of her starbolts almost made up for this.

"And how proceeds your education?" asked Galfore.

"Teacher says I'm improving," smiled Starfire.

Surprisingly, academics seemed to be the only place where both Starfire and Blackfire were slightly below par. They were at roughly the same level, with Starfire being a better reader and artist, and Blackfire possessing superior math and scientific skills. Neither were as scholastic as their mother or father.

"I see," acknowledged Galfore, gently hinting in his voice that she could address the real issue anytime she felt like it.

Wanting to stretch the small talk a little farther, Starfire desperately searched for where to go next.

"K'norfka, what is 'Vit'essque'?"

The air between the two suddenly shifted. Galfore stared intently at Starfire, taken aback by what she had just said. Starfire quickly realized that she had unknowingly stepped into the serious whether she wanted to or not.

"Where did you hear that word?" asked Galfore firmly.

"Uhhmm…" panicked Starfire, "just a… stranger spoke it…."

Galfore's mind went to work immediately. No one in the castle would utter such a word – these were hand chosen men, the cream of the crop. The only other people who could say such a thing were outsiders. And the only time Galfore allowed Starfire to spend any time with outsiders was when she was with her sister. Her sister, who was about to receive a _serious_ speech from Galfore.

"Where is your sister?" asked Galfore.

"I… do not know."

Galfore grunted harshly as he stood up. "It is powerful narcotic. It dampens perception of pain thus allowing the user to push their body farther than is healthy. More often, it induces delusional behaviour and hallucinations."

Starfire listened submissively in silence, humbled by what she was hearing. She couldn't take her eyes away from her K'norfka's piercing gaze. Realizing that he was frightening her more than he intended, Galfore leaned over and smiled reassuringly.

"Go to bed, Starfire. You need sleep."

"Yes K'norfka."

Starfire got up and tiredly trudged over to the exit. Galfore eyed her every step of the way.

---

The next morning was a lazy one. Once again, Starfire slept a little past the designated time. She yawned widely as she rolled out of bed. After a good stretch, she stepped out onto her balcony to absorb the view. The sun was already well up, and the heat was up with it. _Another wonderfully hot Tamaranian day_, she thought to herself.

After taking a quick shower and getting into her usual purple skirt and top, she headed out of the small door (one of the few in the entire palace) that led to the hallway. Starfire strutted happily down the hall, heading towards the royal dining room. She noticed that the guard's faces weren't quite as stern and emotionless as usual.

After rounding a corner, one of the guards abruptly stepped in front of her. He kneeled in front of her and bowed his head as he spoke.

"Your K'norfka wishes to see you immediately. Please follow me."

"Oh…" muttered Starfire. "Very well."

Starfire followed the muscular guard through a few hallways that she rarely used and to a small meeting room deep in the palace. The guard stopped at the edge of the hallway and gestured towards the red curtain that afforded the room some privacy.

Starfire pushed through the curtain and stepped into the small windowless room. Only one of the torches were lit, casting a dim light onto the pale orange walls. She noticed Galfore sitting sternly at the far end of the room in the only chair, his palm covering his face. Xu'ffash stood a few feet beside him, eyes unable to look at anything but his own feet.

"What is it, K'norfka?" asked Starfire, curious about what was to come.

Galfore removed his palm from his face and rested it on the chair's arm, uncovering a look of severe, bitter sadness. Or was it anger? Starfire couldn't tell; she had never seen him with such a look before. Galfore spoke in a grave tone as he told Starfire the last words in the universe that she wanted to hear.

"Your sister was found dead early this morning. She died from an overdose of drugs."


	7. All that she didn't say

**All that she didn't say**

Robin and Starfire sat uncomfortably on the edge of the island. Much of the afternoon had dwindled away, but the sun was still shining brightly, and the day's great beauty seemed almost inappropriate for the occasion.

Robin sat cross-legged beside a stretched out Starfire, the two of them looking anywhere but towards each other. He seemed to be in as much discomfort as Starfire, not knowing how to console someone who had been through such a bitter experience.

"I'm sorry," he tried. "I'm fortunate to not know what it's like to lose someone so close."

"It has been nearly a year now," replied Starfire neutrally. "But…" she continued in an unusually cold tone, "it is not just her death that is so bothersome."

"What do you mean?"

Starfire stood up slowly and dusted herself off, seemingly wanting to wrap up the conversation.

"Robin, do you think I am a... big 'talker'? A 'loud mouth'? The kind who always speaks her mind and shares her opinions on everything?" Starfire still seemed to struggle with English, but she communicated her message very well.

"Uhh…" mumbled Robin, not knowing how to answer in such a delicate situation. He decided to tell the truth, albeit in as nice a manner as possible. "Honestly, you do always say how you feel about things, especially important things."

Robin could not perceive how she was going to respond, and it made him anxious.

"You are right, Robin. I do."

Robin listened intently as she continued.

"Friends help each other out when they are in trouble. They warn each other before they make a mistake. I did no such thing for my sister. I do not know weather or not she would have listened to me, but I still failed to be a good sister to her. I was too… timid, too shy, and too afraid of making her unhappy. She got herself killed, by someone else sneaking them to her or by a dare and her overconfidence. And I said nothing to stop her."

Robin could not think of anything to say.

"With time, the pain of my sister's death is fading. But it will take far longer for the guilt of my silence to disappear."

The silence lingered for another few moments before Robin stood up beside her. Without saying a word, they unanimously decided to head back to the tower. The mood seemed to brighten somewhat as they got closer to their home, but Robin still looked somewhat agitated.

"Do not worry," said Starfire with a smile. "I will feel better eventually, for I will not make the same mistake twice."

**The end**


End file.
